The biggest thing stopping most would-be solo female travelers is a long list of worries and fears that are both self-imposed and come at us from well-meaning friends and family. For some, it’s sadly enough to stop them from traveling altogether, even though most of our biggest worries never come to pass.
Hey, I get it, buying a ticket and heading off to a place you’ve never been before, don’t know a soul, aren’t familiar with the language, and don’t yet understand the culture sounds like a really bad idea, especially when you put it that way!
What happens if something goes wrong? What happens if you get lonely? How do you handle it when you have to do it all by yourself?
I definitely had all of these fears and questions myself before my big solo trip. However I learned that most of the things I was scared of never actually happened, and the things that seemed like a big hurdle, such as meeting people, figuring out how to communicate, and staying safe were actually a lot more intuitive than I thought.
Still, it’s natural to have concerns. So here are the top things that tend to worry solo female travelers and suggestions on how to fix them:
Homesickness
One of the most common emails I get from solo female travelers is that they feel homesick. Something has happened – they feel lonely, their heart is broken, or they’ve just hit a low.
This can be really disappointing, because your solo journey is supposed to be the best thing ever! After months or even years of saving and planning, it’s supposed to be perfect, right?
Realistically, life is life and even if you are out living your dream, you’re going to have down times. I find that the thing that makes people the most homesick is social media. The Facebook newsfeed is useful for absolutely nothing. Delete the Facebook app off of your phone, I mean it! Keep messenger so that you can communicate with people back home, but don’t look at the newsfeed. If something big happens your friends will tell you.
The homesickness will pass as soon as you are back to doing something stimulating and feeling good. But hey, if it doesn’t, nobody ever said that you had to travel forever and can’t go back home if you want to.
Feeling Unsafe
Many women worry that traveling alone will make them a target. After traveling in 53 countries now, about 40 of which I visited alone, I just don’t think this is true. I find that solo traveling actually makes me more aware, that locals look after me more, and that staying safe abroad is similar to staying safe at home.
Carry a dummy wallet, take reasonable precautions (this list is a great place to start), and trust your intuition. In many cases, the country you’re visiting might even be safer than where you’re from!
Loneliness
You will get lonely, and it’s going to be okay.
Being alone is part of the life experience, both abroad and at home.
Being alone is actually great. Other people inevitably affect how we act and feel, but on our own how we act and feel is completely up to us. This is a chance to get to know your real self, the person who you might not have had a chance to connect with before. It’s a gift to yourself.
You can also fix the loneliness problem by staying somewhere social. Find a hostel on hostelworld that has great ratings and stay there for a bit. Or sign up for some kind of activity like SCUBA diving, snorkeling, or a walking tour that will have other people involved. You’ll be feeling better in no time!
Heartbroken
Heartbreak happens on the road, I know this all too well. It’s a tough time to be a solo traveler, but if you think back to every breakup you’ve had, none of them are easy and all of them feel isolating.
Luckily this time, you’ll be out traveling the world and you can make it into an epic adventure! This could actually be the easiest way to move on from a break up, because now you get to do all the things you couldn’t do while coupled. Get excited about the freedom.
Also, treat yourself. Make it a point to do something like a big hike, or finally get SCUBA certified, or something that reminds you how badass and cool you are. Letting go is a lot easier when you’re out having a blast.
Won’t it be so expensive?
Traveling solo is expensive in some cases, but for the most part, no.
If budget is a big concern, just head somewhere like Southeast Asia. You’ll always meet people to split transport costs with, food is cheap, and there aren’t single supplements for tours – at least I never encountered one.
It was about double the price for me to do my American Southwest road trip solo, but again, it’s easy to meet people when you travel. Just put yourself out there.
There are going to be times when you’re traveling that everything seems to be going wrong and you’ll feel overwhelmed. Remind yourself that this happens at home too. It’s just life.
However, I promise you that you will look back on it and realize that you were really strong, resilient, and you will be proud of yourself for making it through. You will be the stronger and more resourceful person for it. Be thankful for the challenges and the wonderful moments alike.
It’s worth it.
Ijana Loss says
This is awesome! Completely agree with everything you wrote. I find that travelling is basically exactly like not traveling, except you’re in different places. You’re gonna get lonely, you’re gonna make friends, you’re gonna spend too much on coffee (or insert other random thing like that), you may feel unsafe at some point, but you will definitely feel completely safe at most points, and you’ll miss people and places where you currently aren’t. But that describes my life whether I’m travelling or not
GG says
Truly written by someone with personal experience and her advice is worth taking, all of it. On top of that, definitely click on the blue links. I think you all miss a bit of the power of this post if you don’t. The list of precautions is great. Being prepared and aware of your surroundings is vital and I imagine after a while becomes second nature. It was that way with me when I lived in the middle of the city. I’m not a solo traveler, but do have the travel bug, and I take notes whenever she makes recommendations about traveling and camping. In fact, I had a co-worker who just came back from Southeast Africa and when she talked about visa issues, I thought “I remember what Kristen said about..”. She had a great time and so many great stories, which is another great thing about traveling and when things don’t go quite as planned!
The links within the “Homesick” and “Heartbreak” sections go back to 2013 and are raw and honest about the ups and downs of life amidst traveling, especially early on in the journey, including rookie mistakes, a relationship with a fellow traveler, persevering even when loved ones and friends may not understand (and feel like no one understands) and moments of anxiety/panic over whether you are doing the right thing, especially when things aren’t working out in some remote place with language barriers and poor living conditions. Also, one can’t run away from their problems, one has to really enjoy the journey for the journey’s sake and the love of exploration and empowerment. That way it helps with healing and with dealing with the problem head on in your own time.
Kristen, after reading these old posts, I see even more how cool it was that you created this site/blog. Here you and all the solo travelers who frequent this site have a place to talk with each other about your experiences, struggles, pain, and absolute joys…. and they truly understand, you’re not alone anymore. How brilliant how you created your own healthy outlet here, your own self-prescribed therapy that is now a successful career. You are living your dream, but as you have said, you can’t expect the incredible rewards that come with doing so without some loss and challenge (and even embracing the challenge!). Too many let fear, peer pressure, and some bumps in the road (okay some big bumps) from achieving their dreams. I truly believe when you are generous to yourself that you in turn give your heart and soul back to others. You’ve done that here.
Some other notes for discussion….. I used to work with this couple who have been married for 20 years and storm chased pretty much every week during the spring-summer. They would finish their shift (night shift usually), pack the car, and head off somewhere in the country or even up to Canada and be back three days later, back to work. The point here is that neither of these two allow anyone to cramp their style, yet with them there is pure symbiosis. It is a rare sight in nature and so it is with people, but they complement each other like nothing else I have ever seen and their lifestyle is anything but ordinary. So, for anyone who has been heartbroken and live what they believe is a unique lifestyle hard for relationships and enjoy the alone time and freedom, don’t be 100% sure though there isn’t an oddball out there that might be a great companion, even in the short term.
Also, as for friends, one person just told me “if I burned my own house down on purpose, my best friend would be there right by my side offering a place to stay”. Such friendships transcend space and situation. They are there for you whenever and whatever you do. Some friendships come and go as you pass through different eras in life, sometimes rekindled many years later. There is no place for jealousy in friendship. Often people don’t understand because they don’t want to. They are actually jealous because you were able to fulfill or pursue your dreams while they feel they can’t, trapped in fear or situation. Jealousy is a terrible emotion involving wishing harm and failure. I feel bad for those who fall in its grasp. Friends should only wish success and joy. Sometimes a benefit of a big life change or struggle is that it helps flesh out who your friends really are and who really loves you unconditionally (I guess this is even more relevant regarding family). It may be painful (especially with family in my case), but I now feel that it is better to know what is really going on than hiding in my shell.
GG
Kristin says
Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful and conversation-provoking comments 🙂
Evan Kristine says
Sometimes we have to go on our own way and find ourselves. This perfect time is for you to reflect and for that, you might realize what is self worth. Yes, travel is one of the good ways to breathe and discover new things within you! After all, you’ll find the new you; stronger, bolder, and wiser.
Kristin says
Word!
Marilynn says
I love traveling solo. No one to say I don’t want to do this or making you eat where they want to. I like having everything MY way. I like having time to sit and sketch and do watercolors with no one rushing me onwards. No one with a watch to say okay take an hour and meet me at such and such place. Making friends alone on the road is fantastic. And I like those low end tours that pair you up with some one. I usually take something for a week or so,when I am gone for say a month or two. I had a fab room mate from Switzerland and made friends from all over. I was the only person from the USA. Hoping my next adventure to Eastern Europe for 7 weeks ends with another group on my Facebook page. Happy trails.
Kristin says
That’s a great way to do it, taking short tours or joining groups and then heading off solo, and having a mix 🙂
Pilot Mark says
Solo travel is a great way to get to know oneself. I´ve had some incredibly inspiring moments whilst travelling on my own, and its a great space to think and reflect on the important things in life.
Kristin says
Yes in fact I totally need that time alone now.
April says
As a female traveler who always travels solo, I am constantly asked, either by friends, colleagues, or people I meet while traveling, “You’re traveling alone? Don’t you get scared?” I always say, “no, I don’t.” I never saw a reason why I should be feel afraid when traveling. I always say, just use common sense. And while traveling, all your senses should be heightened as everything around you is new from the smells to the scenery.
I absolutely agree with you to remove social media apps when traveling. Why be encumbered with that? Rather, immerse yourself in your surroundings and you won’t be thinking of home. And in those quiet moments when you have time to reflect on things, being out of your element, you do discover things about yourself.
And, traveling solo allows me the freedom to interact more with the locals – learn more about their culture, their thoughts on things, etc., which allows me to really get to know the place. And yes, sometimes you are looked after more when traveling solo.
Kristin says
I agree I interact with locals more when I’m solo and I love that part of it.
bibi says
Removing social media apps when travelling or at home, would make most of us much healthier and happier.
Thanks for inspiring more girls to travel.
~bibi
Izy Berry says
Girl power, STRONG!
Kristin says
Check out hostels!
Balayi-villalari says
You are right in your post. İt is really difficult for me to travel solo. İ have many fears about safety. ı think ı will get bored too. But a person should face with her fears. So maybe starting frim short days can be helpful. Then day by day it will get better. Thanks for sharing this topic.
Kristin says
It’s anything but boring! I hope you get to give it a try 🙂