I was a well-oiled machine up until the Summer of 2011 – I say ‘machine’ because I repeated the same motions every single day: woke up at 7:20am, got to work around 8am, finished around 6:30pm, took a spin or Pilates class, ate dinner, and went to bed. I say ‘well-oiled’ because up until that fateful day, I’d had no setbacks, I was headed in what I thought was the right direction, and I was in top-working order.
Then my humerus popped out of place during a yoga class and changed the course of my life.
I know this sounds dramatic. Injuring one’s shoulder most certainly is not the end of the world.
That said, this caused my routine to careen and eventually come to an abrupt halt, and therefore sent me into a tailspin.
The first bomb was the news that I had torn a ligament and had also essentially broken my shoulder. This was all a bit over my head and not really sinking in until my surgeon told me my recovery would take a full year.
The second bomb was the necessity that I take at least 6 weeks off from work post-surgery. This information did not go over well at the office where I was told 6 weeks was an “eternity”. It almost ended in my firing. This was the first thing that really made me question what the heck I was doing spending my life in an office where people didn’t care much for one another.
I had nothing but time to think after the surgery. It was the first time in years that I had paused and done nothing. It felt so good to just be, and I laughed and cried a little to myself over the fact that being stuck in a recliner adorned in a giant sling and hopped up on pain pills was preferable to slouching in my cubicle.
Injuring myself forced me to look around and ask “the f**k? Is this how someone in her 20s is supposed to live?”
I had always wanted to travel. It had always been my passion. Even as a child, when everyone else seemed to know what they wanted to be – a fireman, a ballerina, a dentist – the only occupation I could think of was to see the world. I wanted to learn more about other people; I wanted to jump off of waterfalls and swing from trees; I wanted to hold my breath under water and swim with fish; and I wanted to be an Explorer. What better occupation could there be?
Somewhere along the way, amidst the As in school, Dean’s List honors, and Louis Vuitton purses flashed around campus, I decided that I would have to wear a suit to work if I was really to make something of myself and own one of those bags. I thought it would make me happy. I lied to myself.
Sitting there post-reconstructive shoulder surgery, stressing out about my job, and no closer to my goal of seeing the world, I asked myself if I should do it before my body became too broken. There was a perfectly good chance that after retirement would be too late.
I had set this goal as a child, back when responsibilities and shouldn’ts and bills didn’t exist. Surely it was a silly dream. But what more pure dream could there be? Had I lost my sense of wonder and replaced it with a need for stability? It was time to shake the foundation.
I saw that there were other people traveling long-term. Some of whom I attended school with and whom I knew weren’t rich. I started reading and looking into the possibilities – I had ample time as a one-armed invalid to conduct my research.
The shining truth became clear. It was doable, and there was no time like the present.
The months since then have been spent saving and budgeting, agonizing over the decision to leave (and I really do mean agonizing), healing and rebounding from the surgery, and alternating between hyperventilating and allowing fleeting moments of excitement about the upcoming trip.
As this post goes live, I’ll be 2 muscle relaxers into a plane flight one-way to Bangkok, on an open ended journey where I’ve planned nothing, and set forth no musts, have tos, and shoulds. After all, it’s time to get out of the old routine.
My surgery took place on September 27, 2011. Today on September 27, 2012, exactly one year later, I’m going to give my childhood dream a chance.
I’m doing it.
I do hope you’ll come along.
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Kate says
It’ll be amazing. Promise.
Ava Apollo says
It has been so far. So happy! 🙂
Christina says
I felt the same exact way you did – wasting away my 20s in a desk job that wasn’t getting me anywhere that I wanted to be, just staring at a computer for 8 hours a day. Terrible. Also, love the Louis Vuitton reference. That’s one of the reasons we left Southern CA – it felt stifling constantly being around people whose only concerns were material things while I was saving for travel!
Ava Apollo says
I stared at a computer for 10+ hours per day. How bad is that for us? I still love Southern California but have learned to look past the image. Not easy
Jessie Voigts says
excellent! sometimes, we need a huge shakeup to make us SEE. brava!
Ava Apollo says
Very true!
Ikam Acosta-Ozaeta says
Yay Eva!! I love this entry. You ARE a muse! Way to live the dream.
Ava Apollo says
Thanks so much love 🙂 You’ve been my supporter from the beginning and I value that so much!
BeyondBlighty says
What a great story! It’s great that you turned a bad experience around and made something great from it. I hope you have an amazing time. I’m 10 weeks into my first proper solo backpacking trip (7 months in total) and I already wish I’d gone for the open-ended ticket too!
Ava Apollo says
Cancel your ticket and stay!
jouljet says
Wow, what an awesome story, and amazing way to realise your dreams! Have fun in Thailand when you get there, and I look forward to seeing where your dreams take you!
Ava Apollo says
Thank you 🙂
Ava Apollo says
I thought about that, but then I realized I’d be miserable. I’m loving it here!
The World of Deej says
Sometimes you just need a jump start…too bad that shoulder surgery was that for you, but glad it happened!
Ava Apollo says
Everything happens for a reason!
Victor Tribunsky says
I am very glad for you, Ava! Be happy!
Ava Apollo says
Thank you 🙂
Laurence says
Seriously – the response from work was that six weeks was too long a time to take to recover from major surgery? That’s insane. It’s amazing how much workplaces are willing to take from us, but when it comes to giving back the doors suddenly aren’t quite so walk through as we’d like. The best example of this was when a friend of mine’s Dad died suddenly, and he took it very badly (he was only 23 at the time). Our workplace at the time refused to give him any more leave than the minimum required for bereavement. Suffice to say he resigned.
Ava Apollo says
My old company didn’t even offer bereavement leave. Seriously.
Melanie says
I love how you say that being slinged up in a recliner hopped up on pills was better than slouching in your cubicle. I SO get that. I too am a traveller and tend to lie to myself about how much I love it. I’ll go on a trip, have a blast, but then always feel like I need to come home and “settle down” only to realize soon after that I am unhappy and dying to get on a plane again. Congratulations on your decision and on making your dreams happen! I’ll be following your journey.
Ava Apollo says
Awesome. Maybe we’ll cross paths on our journeys!
Ani says
I am you two years later! I quit my buy-side banking job just recently too and am giving myself at least a year to live my long-term dream to travel! I leave on 29 Sept! Love your blog, really speaks to me as a female in her mid 20s undergoing a bit of a reality check after illness! Maybe we’ll cross paths during our travels if you’re still on the road 🙂
Kristin says
Wow that’s crazy! Same story, pretty much. Have an amazing time on your journey.
Sarah says
I really envy people like you, you are so strong! I wish I have the courage to leave this depressing job and go out exploring the world. I just don’t know how to live happily =(
Thank you so much for your blog, at least I have a constant reminder that life is full of happiness, and I wish my life will be one too, maybe one day..
Kristin says
Aw you do have the courage. I’m not strong, I just had a jolt to the system that pushed me. I think anyone is capable of such things but the fear beforehand is real!
Frank says
You can always live your dreams if you are not afraid!
Leahlizz says
I’ve read a few of your posts and this one really stuck with me. A year ago I tore my ACL and the EXACT same thing happened to me once I had to have surgery. I had so much time to think my life and what I was doing with it and how could I be wasting it in a cubicle! All I’ve ever wanted to do was to travel and I haven’t been doing much of that. Thanks to my injury though, I have been putting so much more thought and planning into what I am doing with my life. Thank you for sharing your stories because they are helping me get up the courage to make some very necessary life changes to make more travel happen!
Kristin says
Wow I connect so much with that, obviously, having been in that position 6 years ago. I have to say, making the changes was so necessary, and I guess in the end the surgery was a blessing in disguise, like most tough things in life. I hope you have a speedy recovery and find what you need from it!
Riel says
Hi Kristin,
I’ve read a bunch of your posts and have used them as starting points for my plan to travel around South East Asia this summer. Funny enough, I am currently in the same position that you were in a couple of years ago – when this post was written.
I’m in somewhat of a unique position where I just graduated university with a job lined up in October which will probably be years of hard work to start my career. So I’m wanting to travel in August/September in SEA for my first big backpacking trip before I start (Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand).. And uncannily, I’m actually also getting reconstructive surgery on my shoulder – after having dislocated it 3 times the past 2 years – in the end of May.
So, from your experience, how was the recovery? Do you think I’d be able to travel 8 weeks post-surgery? How bad would it be for my shoulder – considering I’d be backpacking and all?
I’ve been reading that people post-op are in a sling for 8 weeks and aren’t able to start feeling normal until 12 weeks – which would put me at September :(. I’ve thought of maybe just traveling in September for 4/5 weeks.. But I’m convinced that there is no point in me going to SEA for such a “short” period of time.
What do you think? Any guidance is appreciated.
Thanks in advance!
Kristin says
Hey Riel,
While everyone is different, I’m sorry to say that there is NO WAY I could even have considered putting any weight on my shoulder 8 weeks out. I had torn two ligaments and broken some bone, so I understand my surgery was a bit more involved and probably invasive than it is for many people, but I had just come out of the sling and my arm was stuck in place. I had to go to physical therapy for months before it had range of motion back and I could start rehab. I waited a full year, as per my surgeon’s instructions, to treat it like it was completely healed. I’m guessing your doctor would tell you there’s no way you could put a backpack on 8 weeks out.
Could you possibly travel first and then do the surgery after? That’s what I would do!
Gina says
My story is similar! 2 lumbar spinal surgeries and an MS diagnosis between 2-15 and 9-15. 1 year of rehab, so I had an inordinate amount of ME time and the question that kept coming into my head was, WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO LOOK LIKE……
September 2018 was the start of my 3rd consecutive year of solo female travel, which I expanded to WORLDWIDE travel as of 6-18!!!! And I couldn’t be HAPPIER!
Thank you Kristin for inspiring me along the way! To make me ask myself the hard questions! To remind me, I GOT THIS!