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How Traveling in Southeast Asia Was Different in my 30s

04/29/2018 by Kristin Addis 8 Comments

Before I left for Southeast Asia in January I wrote about why I felt the need to return to the place where it all started for me 5 1/2 years ago, and also about my fears of returning to a place that had meant so much to me. Would it still be amazing if I wasn’t a backpacker anymore? Would I still connect with it? Is the saying, ‘you can’t go back‘, really true?

I figured it was time to update you guys about how it was traveling in Southeast Asia again in my early 30s.

In a nutshell, it was pure magic.

It was even more magical than the first time I went in 2012. I didn’t think that was possible, but that’s the beauty of traveling.

It was also almost entirely different to what I did and experienced the first time around. Here are the big things that changed around the who, what, where, why, and how:

Table of Contents

Toggle
  • Who I hung out with
  • Where I slept
  • What I spent
  • How I experienced it
  • Why it was so amazing this time

Who I hung out with

southeast asia in 30s
Fewer connections with more meaning

Backpacking through Southeast Asia in my 20s meant that I was almost always surrounded by other backpackers who were also on a long-term journey and embracing their newfound freedom. At the time it was perfect for me. I’d been so worried before I went that the trip would be lonely and was delighted to find that meeting people was easy.

I worried I would feel out of place this time. I’m not a backpacker anymore, and I’m not in my 20s anymore.

That’s not to say I’m old AF now or anything, 31 is still plenty young, but since I hung out with people under 30 last time I worried that’s all I would find. I now realize that’s because I was hanging out in dorms before so that became my reality.

I’m happy to say I found people of all ages to hang out with this time, and the number of years we’ve been on this planet didn’t matter all that much.

I also found that I met a lot more locals on this trip. Part of that was going to places in Thailand that didn’t have as many foreigners around, heading to the Philippines where locals are friendly and easy to meet, and hanging out in places other than dorms and backpacker hangouts. It just put me in situations where I was more likely to meet locals and expats.

Where I slept

southeast asia in 30s
Not a bad place to hang your hat for a few days

One of the biggest differences between traveling in Southeast Asia in my 30s versus my 20s was my accommodation preferences. Previously, I was fixated on what I was spending and how I could make it even cheaper.

That meant sleeping in a lot of dorms. That’s all I did for almost 2 years!

While I absolutely love and cherish those years, they are over. So over.

I didn’t sleep in any dorms this time, opting for nicer accommodation and paying up a bit more for it. With a more grown-up budget, it was OK! I’ve also become more sophisticated with travel hacking and was able to use points quite often to pay for rooms. That’s another post in itself, but it made a more comfortable trip possible.

What I spent

southeast asia in 30s
Breakfast splurges: Worth it

My budget in Southeast Asia in 2012 and 2013 was about $1000 per month once I was on the ground. I spent more than that this time, particularly in Thailand where I rented a car, and on my flight to Raja Ampat in West Papua, Indonesia, which set me back over $300. That said, I didn’t spend anything on my business class flight from Berlin over to Chiang Mai thanks to travel hacking, and as I mentioned in the previous section, often kept my costs low for accommodation as well even though I stayed in nicer places. I spent more in Thailand but less in the Philippines and Indonesia. Overall I only increased my budget by about 50%.

I still ate cheap street food and still took local buses whenever possible. I think the value is better and like the experience more in both cases.

I splurged on nice coffee though, and did so often. I also spent a bit more to go to nicer spas for massages, and it was worth it. I didn’t skimp on any activities because of the price, but that’s actually true of my previous journey as well. I always prioritized experiences.

It was a huge help that I didn’t spend anything on alcohol this time as well. Partying can kill one’s budget quickly.

How I experienced it

southeast asia in 30s
So much more enriching

My experience traveling in Southeast Asia in my 30s was wildly different than in my 20s. I was into partying a lot more back then. I was so happy to be free. It was heaven.

However I remember feeling like I was saying hello and goodbye several times a day living the hostel and backpacker life. It sometimes felt like Groundhog Day, having the same conversations over and over: ‘Where are you from, how long are you traveling for?’

It often lacked substance.

This time, I had to work harder at meeting people since I didn’t stay in social accommodation, but that ended up making each connection even more valuable and special.

I was more likely to make connections by striking up a conversation in a cafĆ©, which is certainly harder than in a hostel or a bar. It just takes more courage. I also met people at retreats (I did two on this trip – Vipassana in Thailand and a women’s retreat in Bali), or on excursions like the diving trip in Raja Ampat or day trips in the Philippines.

It felt like each friendship was a lot more conscious, with deeper conversation topics and more meaningful moments shared between us.

Why it was so amazing this time

southeast asia in 30s
Incredible Raja Ampat – taken by Dayna, a friend I made on the trip

Sometimes I wondered, is this the Truman Show right now? How did this perfect person walk into my life at the perfect time?

Maybe this will sound a bit woo-woo (but I am a bit woo-woo, you’ve probably noticed by now), but it just felt like people kept coming into my experience who were meant to be there. It could just be a coincidence once, sure, but not over and over.

There were local people in the Philippines who completely changed my mind about it. There was another 30-something woman I hung out with in Siargao who I really bonded with, and the same happened in Kuta. The retreats that I did were totally core and life-changing and both fostered beautiful connections.

I felt like I was more awake this time, and more present to the journey unfolding in front of me. I don’t know if that comes from being older and wiser or maybe just not being hungover. Life felt like it was in high-definition – still does.

So you can go back, it turns out. It’s okay if the place changed, and especially if you changed.

That’s why we travel in the first place – to be changed – isn’t it?

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About Kristin Addis

Kristin Addis is the founder and CEO of Be My Travel Muse, a resource for female travelers all around the world since 2012. She's traveled solo to over 65 countries and has brought over 150 women on her all-female adventure tours from Botswana to the Alaskan tundra.

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Comments

  1. Kaleena says

    04/29/2018 at 9:53 pm

    Awesome! I’m so glad you had a good time. I recently went to Colombia and it was my first trip in my 30s and I had the same fears about being older… but similarly, I just did different types of things and met a wider variety of people and had more meaningful interactions. I also experienced that feeling of people continually showing up at just the right moment, and just flowing from one to the next in such an organic and fabulous way! Also, I’m DYING to dive in raja ampat, please post lots of info about that when you can! šŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      04/30/2018 at 7:34 am

      Here you go! https://www.bemytravelmuse.com/raja-ampat/

      Reply
  2. Dominique | dominiquetravels.com says

    04/30/2018 at 12:56 pm

    Oh wow, this post comes at exactly the right time. I was thinking of planning a trip back to Southeast Asia, but I was wondering if I would still like it now that I’m in my thirties. It’s good to see that even if your preferences have changed the region can still be special. It makes me more eager to revisit the area!

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      05/01/2018 at 6:12 am

      Totally. I think it would be great at any time of life. It’s really the people who make a place.

      Reply
  3. Phoebe says

    05/10/2018 at 8:14 pm

    I think it’s not about the age. I think it’s your stability in life that become a huge factor on how you travel. I wish I was able to travel more when I was young but I was busy building a career. However, even if I started late it made me realize that I have more freedom now to explore and truly enjoy a place because I can pay for it.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      05/11/2018 at 6:58 am

      Well said, it’s where you are in year head and heart.

      Reply
  4. Aishling says

    10/16/2018 at 8:06 am

    Hi, I’m heading off to Thailand & Laos next week, solo. I’m also 31, so not looking for mad party nightlife!
    I’m torn about where to stay in Chiang Mai, I would like to meet people, so keen to avoid hotels but I don’t want to be in a dingy hostel either. Would you have any recommendations for somewhere central, that would be good to meet people? thanks šŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      10/16/2018 at 11:11 pm

      Yeah I’d just pick a private room in a hostel, then. Anywhere within the old town is convenient for a first timer in the city. Read some reviews and pick what sounds good to you based on price and amenities. I’d look for language discussing whether it’s a party place or how their chill spaces are and what people like about it.

      Reply

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