In order for this to make sense we have to rewind to a hostel in Kunming, China, circa February 2014. I left my bag with everything valuable in it on a seat across from Rene, a guy I’d known for a day or two, while I went to get some tea. I came back and he remarked that it was beautiful that I’d trusted him enough to leave my bag with him. After all, he was more or less a stranger.
I was surprised that he even noticed. There was no question in my mind about leaving my bag there. I never imagined he would run off with it or lift some cash while I was away.
Traveling in general has taught me to trust people. I’ve hitchhiked with several thousands of dollars worth of electronic equipment on me before and nothing bad happened, have given my debit card and pin number to a fellow traveler while be missioned to the ATM a full hour away to get some cash, paid for things for other travelers when their cards weren’t working, stated in interviews that I believed that people are fundamentally good, and none of it came back to bite me. All of it worked out and people were kind and honest.
Then during a May Day celebration in Berlin, about six hours after I’d landed from Buenos Aires, I got pick pocketed.
I wouldn’t even normally have been there, but I was trying to fight the jet lag so I went out against my better judgement.
The irony is not lost on me that I’ve traveled through ‘dangerous’ South America and even South Africa without any incidents and then as soon as I returned to my home base, was robbed.
Big crowds were dancing in the street just after dusk. There was awesome music playing and I kept exclaiming how wonderful of a reception it was to come back to a party that was ‘so Berlin.’ I had my wallet and phone in my cross-body purse and kept reaching for it to make sure that everything was fine. Then, when we were passing through a particularly thick crowd, I put my hand back again and felt, to my horror, that the zippers were open and my stuff was gone. It happened within five seconds. It could have happened to anyone in my group but it happened to me this time.
My unlocked iPhone and the money inside totaled about $1000, including my ID and all of my cards, but thankfully, not my passport. My travel insurance finished when I came back from South America, and therefore so did my coverage.
I thought back to the experiences of some of my friends in Berlin and it’s actually not surprising. My old roommate’s phone was stolen out of her purse on Christmas eve. Almost everyone has his/her bike stolen at some point (me included), and another friend was robbed of €500 while walking through a park at night. I guess I’m a real Berliner now?
An uncomfortable truth about Berlin is though this city is full of artists and hipsters, many of them are unemployed and struggling. This city is in debt by something like €80 million and needs to be bailed out by the other states in Germany each year. Per capita it is as in-debt as Detroit. Even more sobering, one in eight people here live below the poverty line. There isn’t much violent crime here but like most major European cities there is a ton of theft, and the thieves are really, really good.
The cost of replacing it all definitely sucks, but it’s just money. The time it took to speak with the bank and file police reports was even worse. I hate that kind of headache. But even that wasn’t the worst part of it. Not even close.
The worst part is how it made me feel about my fellow humans.
Look, I know pickpockets exist and I wasn’t blind to the fact that there is evil in the world prior to this. I’ve been robbed many times before, once even while I was at home in home in Santa Barbara and someone broke in. Im not naïve.
I really liked leaving my bag with a stranger at a hostel and not thinking twice, though. I don’t want to go through the next few months or years, which is probably inevitable, being hyper vigilant and always looking around any time I’m in a crowd. I don’t want it to affect my opinion of Berlin, but I also don’t want to go through this again.
Today I rode my Airbnb host’s bike out to a breakfast joint in Queens during a long layover en route back home. I don’t have a phone right now so there was nothing to distract me as I sat at breakfast alone. The server came over and casually chatted with me and the people behind me at the tables all did so with each other, too.
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
“Which high school did you go to? NO WAY! What year did you graduate? You must know my cousin, Charlie.”
I smiled to myself as I drank my coffee. For a rare moment I could actually understand the conversation going on around me and the sense of community was beautiful. I didn’t have anything to take my focus away from what they were saying so I just listened, and found myself loving what I was hearing, loving the neighborhood, and finally feeling good again for the first time all week. A few people said ‘good morning’ to me on my ride back I just felt happy to be closer to home again, starting to trust that, even though bad eggs are everywhere, people really are fundamentally good.
Yep, of all places, Queens, New York restored that faith.
I’ll replace my lost items, the memory will slowly fade, and it’ll be alright again.
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Heather says
I’m so happy Queens restored your faith. Everyone is all about Brooklyn when they come to NY but Queens is my home and I love it.
Kristin says
I’ve been to the area twice and stayed in Queens both times funny enough. Once in Astoria and once in Howard Beach. They’re both nice and convenient in their own ways!
Dave says
Similar thing happened to me in India last year; realized suddenly we were a lot lighter in the wallet than we should have been. We’d had a hotel room that had been ‘cleaned’ and we’d left money in it that day – that was the money we didn’t have anymore. The faith gradually restored itself though, insecure bag storage in hotels, vendors giving us back money when we overpaid, and best of all, trusting the right people. It’s easy to be hyper vigilant (the trust you don’t have can’t be misplaced) but you end up in a situation where you HAVE to take a chance, one that you wouldn’t have worried about before but which now seems unacceptable. So you do it anyway and worry all day about it. I reckon your world view is spot on and your ability to assess risk isn’t in question – if nothing EVER happened to you, that really would be wierd…
Kristin says
True! After four years I guess that I should be happy that the odds were in my favor. I think part of it is being hyper vigilant too, but there were times when I made a huge mistake or just had to blindly put my faith in someone and things worked out. Sorry it happened to you in India and glad that you had your faith restored.
Sheila says
So sorry to hear your loss. You’re right, it’s just “stuff” and “basically replace-able material” the most annoying thing is the paranoia.
I got pick pocketed back in Phnom Penh by guys on motorbike and now everywhere I go, I feel insecure if a motorbike got too close. The days when I lost my mobile phone was alright, I didn’t feel anything significant but rather happier for being “in the moment”.
Kristin says
The only thing that bugs me about the phone is how much it cost me to buy in the first place and how much it costs to replace. That was quite the costly item. However, if it had happened to me a few years ago it would be a much bigger deal. Now I can take it as a hard-learned lesson and move on. Sucks about the motorbike in PP! They’re quick aren’t they?
Katie says
What a great way to recover from a bad day or bad experience! You had the right attitude about it 100 percent. I had my car window smashed and purse stolen (ids and credit cards) right before Christmas. I learned a hard lesson about being super cautious. Education isn’t always free. But I loved your point about still believing people are good- and not being hyper paranoid about it- enjoy NYC! — Katie @ Katie Wanders
Kristin says
The timing is never good to have something stolen but right before Christmas!? C’mon people! The ID is really annoying too. It’s all annoying!
Andrea Anastasiou says
Before I went to Berlin I heard so many stories like yours, which led to me being hyper vigilant the whole time I was there. Thankfully it didn’t happen to me, but I did have my debit card cloned and money taken from my account while I was there, so I’m convinced my details were phished at an ATM in the city.
Lesson learnt the hard way – always use ATMs that are located inside banks, as they’re harder to taper with!
Glad to read that your faith in humanity was restored, though 🙂 It always feels like such a violation of privacy when something like this happens.
Kristin says
Exactly it just felt violating. True about the ATMs. It’s always good to go into the bank when possible.
Fate says
I can totally relate! My partner and I got mugged in South Africa, and unfortunately I became more paranoid for our next trip to Vietnam. But phew, it turned out to be a nice surprise and I regained a bit of my confidence again. It’d be all right again. 😉
Kristin says
Sucks that you got mugged in South Africa. I know LOTS of people who have suffered the same fate there and I honestly think so much of it is luck of the draw. Vietnam can be bad for bag snatching too but glad you felt better after some time there!
Jane Freeman says
Sorry to hear! Yep South America is pretty good – saying that we has our passports stolen in BA, think it was from a hotel safe. That was a right pain in the arse to sort!!
Kristin says
Gosh I’m so glad that my passport wasn’t stolen! And yeah, sometimes the hotel staff at various places are under pressure from the mafia to steal from the guests. Horrible position to be in for them and sucks for the traveler big time!
Ryan says
Ah, bummer that this happened to you Kristin, because I’ve been always more on the paranoid side and secretly was envious of travelers that just trusted everyone. It’s not that I distrust people. it’s just that I know for all of the hundreds of people I meet or come across in travels or hostels, there’s potentially one person that might ruin it for the rest. I don’t like thinking that way, but the times when I take my tech bag into the bathroom with me while I shower and hear moments later how someone had their stuff stolen while in the shower keeps me always cautious. When I do travel with a group of new friends for even just a few days, it’s hard for someone to hide any malicious intent from a group, and in those situations I’m fine going “can you watch my bag please”. But when I walk around in a city or crowd or festival, I still make sure to wear long shirts that pass my bum (and cover my pockets), I do the 3 tap test to make sure my stuff is there, if I put my bag down I loop it in my leg. Sometimes, like in your instance, they are just THAT good, and there was no stopping it. But it’s good to know that you haven’t lost heart and not just said “I won’t trust anyone ever again” because that would be a sad thing to lose. Good on you for keeping your head up. And now I want coffee in Queens haha.
Kristin says
I’m usually so hyper vigilant like that, too. My stuff is always locked and I carry that portable bag lock around with me and I totally use it. Ugh this guy, or gal, was just that good.
Image Earth Travel says
You are one lucky traveller as you’re the first person I’ve heard that’s travelled through South America without being robbed in some way or another.
We travelled there for over 10 months in 2011 and subjected to a couple of pick-pocket incidents and a few things stolen from our packs (paracetamol and personal items) – we locked everything thereafter. But, the worse was being robbed by hotel staff in Chiclayo (Peru) of 2 laptops, a substantial amount of cash (even Polish Zlotty!), 2 iPhones, and an iPod. Luckily our passports and credit cards were left, police said these couldn’t be used.
The thief unlocked our hotel room, picked all 3 of our locks on both packs, stole everything, re-locked both packs, and left re-locking our room. The hotel manager even made us pay for the 2 night’s accommodation after we’d had everything stolen! Te interesting thing was that this was a local’s hotel and we were the only Gringos staying there – we were also the only ones that were robbed.
As you know, you can’t carry much on you whilst on the streets in SA, so it has to be locked in your room. I’ve even met people that had stuff stolen from their hotel safe. We were not alone though, in the 10 months of travel, I’d never met another traveller that hadn’t been robbed…someone must be watching over you! 😉
Kristin says
Dang, picked the locks? They are so good! There’s really nothing you can do in that case I guess. That’s so frustrating! Sorry that happened to you 🙁
Image Earth Travel says
Yes. Sadly, they were smarter than we were but now we have really good combination locks. And although these a deterrent, you know if someone wants something, they will just take it regardless. Sorry you were robbed also, not a nice feeling 🙁
Madison Ogburn says
I can’t say that I have a story like yours! I can’t imagine how stressful that must’ve been! Wow… But, I do know what it’s like to be robbed. My entire purse was stolen last year, with checks and $300 cash and all my cards and my phone… Oh, it was absolutely crazy! But, anyways, I’m so glad that your passport was spared!
A friend of mine lost her passport in Italy, and she had to miss her flight home and stay for another week in the embassy there to try to get her passport stuff figured out. I have definitely learned that my passport if my life-support when overseas! And I can’t wait to travel more… Your blog is absolutely phenomenal and inspiring!
Kristin says
So glad that you like the blog! Yes it seems crazy but that little booklet full of papers is the most important thing ever, or you’re not going anywhere! That would have really set off a chain reaction of awful if the passport got stolen and I missed the chance to come home for my mom’s birthday. So I can be grateful I guess!
vira says
You must’ve felt so awful when you just realized you got robbed. I’m glad you’re restored your trust in people again. I like this post, it’s like I can feel your frustration and mostly your relief in that diner in Queens. I feel like I’m now riding a bike home all smiling :))
I heard about pickpockets more from people traveling in Europe than anywhere else, so I was much more careful with my stuff when I was in Greece (the only European country I’ve been in) than when I backpacked in SEA. Luckily nothing bad happened 🙂
Czarina says
I love your blog and this is where I get the inspiration and the courage to book that ticket!
So I’m finally going on my first solo travel soon! I’m quite excited about it, but this article got me wary if I should take valuable jewellery with me–not just for its value, but for its significance. Like a necklace that I never take off because of its special remembrance. I’m torn! Hahaha.
Kristin says
A necklace that you never take off is probably OK. Someone isn’t too likely to steal that right off of you. I would leave the stuff you really really love at home though. Being flashy on the road can be a sign to thieves to target you.
Don’t let this scare you off, though.You’ll have a blast!
Melissa says
Being robbed certainly sucks but I’m glad that it does’t seem to have ruined your overall trust in people. I had myself convinced that I was going to have something stolen while I was in Nicaragua this spring, but it never happened. One thing I loved about South Korea was the fact that I could leave my laptop out in a coffee shop while going to the washroom and know it would be there when I came back. Can’t do that everywhere. I hope it doesn’t change.
Kristin says
I liked that about Taiwan when I lived there, too. Less desperation, maybe, or just a cultural thing that prioritizes order of the whole rather than individual needs and wants.
Lorenz says
What a pity that this just happened in our capital city! I experienced all of germanys biggest cities as quite safe and most of the people are also very friendly.. by the way: have you ever been to any other german city than Berlin? Did you enjoy it?
Greetings from Lorenz (17) from Munich
Kristin says
Yes I’ve been to Hamburg, Essen, Stuttgart, and Cologne and thought they were all nice.
Pons Guiterez says
Just today it happened to my 2 sons who travelled from Munich to Berlin via ZOB bus & they lost all teir valuables including thier assport to hold upper/ pick pocket, worst they have their flight the following n ight w/ no passport & Phil embassy closed on a Saturday. I dont know it happened too to industrial country like Germany. It sucks Pons from the P.I.
Kristin says
Yikes. It’s unfortunately pretty common in Europe 🙁 I hope you’re able to sort it out without too much more headache! Sorry this happened to them.