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I Made it to Second Base With a Ladyboy

04/29/2013 by Kristin Addis 42 Comments

It seems that everybody knows somebody who has accidentally made out with a ladyboy, or worse.  I never thought I’d be one of them, but then again, nobody ever does.

First off, let’s establish what a ladyboy is.

A ladyboy is a transgendered or transvestite individual in Southeast Asia.  In Thailand, for example, they are openly tolerated if not embraced and even regarded as good luck charms.

My story takes place between Christmas and New Year’s last year, on Phuket.  I would normally avoid what has become such a seedy place like the plague, but it so happened that I had to head there to get a chest x-ray for my Australian visa.  While there, I met a group of friends who wanted to check out the ladyboy cabaret.  Given that I had nothing better to do, I tagged along.

Ladyboy shows are often a way for ladyboys to save up for the final step of the surgical procedure to become a woman.  The performers tend to at least have breast implants, and are quite often absolutely beautiful, and convincing!

I sat through an hour or so of performances in Russian, English, Chinese, and, of course, Gangnam Style, so that every possible member of the audience would be satisfied hearing a song in his/her native language, performed by crystal-adorned ladyboys dancing a little out of sync with smiles plastered on their faces.

After the show, we had an opportunity to take photos with the various performers.  One of the more beautiful ones I had noticed on stage beckoned me over.

I couldn’t say no, right?

He (she?) grabbed my hand and slung it over her (his?) shoulder.  My friend, Dylan (who attended with me on the pretense that ‘the journalist in him said yes’), snapped a photo just as the unthinkable happened:

The ladyboy stuck my hand down her (his?) top. 

It rested there for a few seconds (though it felt like hours) before I realized what was happening.  I pulled it back out at lightning speed, completely flabbergasted, as the ladyboy laughed at me.

Thai Ladyboy
The ladyboy in question is to my right (and, why yes, I AM sunburned)

For the remainder of the night I just kept looking down at my hand, unsure of what to do.

Do I wash it? Sanitize it? Chop it off?

And so, without even meaning to, I made it to second base with a ladyboy.  I have now joined the rank and file of tourists in Thailand who have befallen such a fate.

I think the best course of action for me now is to do as the locals do, and regard this as a good luck charm.  If nothing else, it makes for one hilarious story.

*This post is for Chelsea, who so eloquently said one night, “The title of Kristin’s Southeast Asia memoirs: I Made it to Second Base With a Ladyboy.” 

*Special thanks to Dylan Lowe for the photos, and you’re welcome, Dylan, for getting to be the one to witness this account first-hand. 

2015 Update: Transgendered individuals have a hard enough time with acceptance into the societies they were raised in without the burden of someone like me writing a post like this. I’m ashamed for highlighting our differences and instead want to celebrate the beautiful (inwardly and outwardly) and strong women who have the bravery to embrace their lives as transgendered individuals. If this post offends you, it’s because I’m a silly girl without an understanding of the difficulty those who dare greatly to be different. I support you in all that you do, empowered woman. I respect your struggle and promise that moving forward, all that I do in my writing and attitude will reflect that. Much respect where it is due.

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About Kristin Addis

Kristin Addis is the founder and CEO of Be My Travel Muse, a resource for female travelers all around the world since 2012. She's traveled solo to over 65 countries and has brought over 150 women on her all-female adventure tours from Botswana to the Alaskan tundra.

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Comments

  1. Britany says

    04/29/2013 at 9:20 am

    Ha! those lady boy shows are definitely entertaining but I missed out on the second base bit… lucky you!

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:45 am

      How unfortunate for you!

      Reply
  2. Micamyx|Senyorita says

    04/29/2013 at 5:42 pm

    Haha what an experience! I wasn’t able to watch a single lady boy show when I went to Thailand last year 🙁

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:45 am

      You’re not realllly missing out on much, honestly.

      Reply
  3. Matthew Karsten says

    04/29/2013 at 6:00 pm

    She doesn’t seem to have silicon… were they real or fake? 😀

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:43 am

      Definitely silicone!

      Reply
  4. Carrie says

    04/29/2013 at 6:40 pm

    Too funny! I’ve been to Phuket twice. I went once with the teachers at my school and once with John because he had never been. Both times, there were funny incidents with lady boys, but the best by far was sending John out to get a few bottles of water one evening and having him come back completely traumatized after a lady boy exposed him/her self at the convenience store!

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:43 am

      PAHAHA poor John!

      Reply
  5. Alexa Hart says

    04/29/2013 at 7:47 pm

    Ahhhh, goodness. Their faces look so fake!

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:44 am

      Not the fakest part, let me tell you!

      Reply
  6. Arianwen says

    04/30/2013 at 2:17 am

    This is brilliant. Best blog post title I’ve seen in ages! Good on you for being so lighthearted about it. Did no one capture Dylan in any compromising positions?

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:44 am

      Nope I was the only lucky one

      Reply
  7. Alissa says

    04/30/2013 at 2:34 am

    Good stuff! I just discovered the ladyboy phenomenon in Bangkok, but from a more of a distance than you!

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/02/2013 at 12:45 am

      You see them all over SE Asia. Very special

      Reply
  8. Tawny of Captain and Clark says

    05/02/2013 at 11:26 pm

    The good news is that he/she was definitely the prettiest of the bunch 😉

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/03/2013 at 2:28 am

      That helps me sleep at night.

      Reply
  9. Rob says

    05/06/2013 at 8:15 am

    Nice and not sure if you’re sunburnt of they are loaded in that ever popular white powder which makes the contrast so intense. ;]

    Reply
    • admin says

      05/06/2013 at 8:53 am

      Maybe we could just say I’m tan…Yes, I like tan.

      Reply
  10. Sam @ Travellingking.com says

    05/25/2013 at 5:59 pm

    Oh lordy! You poor thing.. but entertaining

    Reply
  11. Mitchell says

    10/18/2013 at 5:47 am

    Once any straight man spends a night with a pretty lady body, he will very rarely be 100% satisfied with a normal women again. Don’t ask me how I know… I just know ok, lol.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      10/18/2013 at 5:55 am

      Most amazing comment I’ve seen in a while!

      Reply
  12. phil maxted says

    02/19/2014 at 1:42 am

    Don’t worry happens to us all eventually – or is it just me. Great blog post btw thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  13. Kristin says

    03/05/2014 at 5:36 am

    Haha just dancing with one is no issue, I think people mistake them for women and find out when it’s too late.

    Reply
    • Transperson says

      10/22/2014 at 2:03 am

      Hey, just a heads up, you would call them “she” if they identify as women. If you call a transwoman (which Kathoeys are) “he”, you are misgendering her. If an individual is presenting as a woman, if they have gone to the trouble of undergoing dangerous surgical interventions like these ladies have, if they identify as female, then you most certainly should call them “she”. Not “he-she”. “He-she” is the trans equivalent to the “n” word for African people, or “f@ggot” for gay men. It is very offensive. I’m sure no one here meant to be offensive, but now you know!

      Reply
      • Kristin says

        10/24/2014 at 9:40 am

        You’re absolutely right, and I appreciate that you were patient with your response. I don’t mean to offend anyone but I can see how my post could be seen as insensitive.

        Reply
  14. Hanna says

    04/17/2014 at 7:07 pm

    Hi there 🙂 im glad you had a good time. I am Thai and let me tell you this…I don’t think we consider ladyboys as a good luck charm haha! they are just individuals… but yes they get a lot of attention from the tourists of course 😉

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      04/18/2014 at 7:41 am

      Well Wikipedia was wrong then! Thanks for the correction 🙂

      Reply
      • Sajid says

        11/17/2017 at 9:19 pm

        Ladyboys are considered goodluck charm in subcontinent (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh). I’m from Pakistan, thts why I know this. This might not be the case in other Asian countries. So Hanna is right

        Reply
  15. Ladyboykisses says

    07/14/2014 at 12:45 am

    Specially when a ladyboy is very hot and a good entertainer, you will surely don’t have a second thought!

    Reply
  16. Wow says

    07/21/2014 at 9:48 pm

    Thats one lucky ladyboy i tell ya, cuz your absolutely gorgeous miss kristin

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      07/22/2014 at 2:39 am

      Haha thank you 🙂

      Reply
  17. Rich - RichyFeet says

    08/25/2014 at 6:26 pm

    Hahaha, loved this. It certainly is a strange experience over there – very confusing!!!

    Reply
  18. Phil says

    09/26/2014 at 1:08 am

    The real challenge is to get to third base ! They do say it’s like cooking with gas once you’ve tried it you can’t go back to electric if you get my meaning. So a friend of a friend says…..

    Reply
  19. Ben says

    11/16/2015 at 10:51 am

    You’re an extremely hot and sexy lady. and I mean that not just in a physical way, but your whole vibe and style is like that. This is the only travel blog I’ve ever read where I didn’t feel angry at the person who wrote it. Thank you.

    Reply
  20. GG says

    05/07/2017 at 9:26 pm

    Your initial response was natural as transgender is quite different and is hard to understand (especially for me who is raised conservative…talking about understanding, not accepting as that implies I am judging them). Nonetheless what one of the ladyboys did to you was inappropriate. Being different and being treated equally means embracing others for their differences. However it also means that everyone takes responsibility for their actions and doesn’t use his or her difference as an excuse for harassment. What was extraordinary was how in 2015 you had gained sensitivity about transgender and made a sweet appeal to them that you love them like everyone else. It is not easy to admit these things and you keep growing! More things to write to your 21-year old self as a 31 year old!

    Reply
  21. Realist says

    01/31/2019 at 7:01 pm

    So you got sexually assaulted by a ladyboy and now you need to apologize for your reaction to it. Got it. No wonder the west is collapsing.

    Reply
    • Kristin says

      02/01/2019 at 7:36 am

      That’s true. I apologize for not recognizing her as a her and making fun of the transition, but she should not have done that, either.

      Reply
  22. James says

    05/04/2019 at 8:25 am

    I really see no reason to apologize for writing your experience. Yes ladyboys might have it rough but they don’t have a right to sexually assault you which is exactly what happened. Ladyboys often try to trick unsuspecting people about their gender and often when intoxicated anyone who has been to south Asian knows this for a fact. Respect should be a two way street if you’re not gay you shouldn’t have it pushed upon you and if your gay no one should be be harassing you simply for being gay. Since most people are actually straight it logically follows that the lb in fact knew it was more than likely that your not interested and should know that straight people find the same gender disgusting with respect to sexuality. To argue against that last sentence is to argue against biological necessity and evolution. I can logically be ok with someone practicing their sexuality and at the same time find it not for me.

    Reply
  23. mark says

    09/26/2019 at 2:32 pm

    Interesting that you apologize for not “recognizing her as her”. But, as a biological woman wouldn’t it be normal to not perceive a transgender (man to woman) as a a “real” woman? As a woman you have a whole different set of physiological and life experiences, which are bypassed by a man who becomes a woman. Nothing wrong with a guy becoming a woman, more power to him/her, but it seems a bit of a cheat

    Reply
  24. Gato says

    05/14/2022 at 6:40 am

    I am still trying to understand the nature of your apology that you appended to this article.

    What was so offensive that you felt that the need wrote the apology?

    Was it your reaction to what some would consider to be tantamount to sexual assault?

    You see, there are different ways to spin this.

    It seemed like a honest reaction to a real situation to me.

    I mean, as a man, if someone with a penis grabbed my hand and put in on their penis, I’d probably be reeling back and looking for hand sanitizer, too.

    Does that make me a bad person? I don’t think so.

    I don’t even want to imagine what would happen to me if I forced someone’s hands onto my naughty bits.

    Anyways, I found your “original” article to be very entertaining and enjoyable.

    Reply
  25. Gato says

    05/14/2022 at 7:14 am

    In reading through the comments I seem to have noticed that perhaps your apology is related to the pronouns.

    Well, I was told never to assume pronouns. If you did not ask, and you don’t know… listing both like you did seems to be a valid option.

    There are straight gays the cross-dress, but the identify as “he” still. I see plenty of women that dress like men, and at a first glance may even look like men, yet, they go by “she.”

    I mean, they call themselves “Lady Boys” in English, so that has both genders mix right into their name.

    I would say to any of the trans-folks who chimed in, “shame on you for assuming.”

    I think that you did the right thing, initially.

    Honestly, I personally don’t feel that it is my job to validate someone else’s subjective view of themselves.

    Reply
  26. D c says

    04/27/2024 at 5:19 am

    A ladyboy should be regarded as a her, always. Why do you disrespect a trans person calling them by a different gender?

    Not good for a journalist or anyone else.

    Reply

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