It had been a tiring day. It was take two of my attempt at climbing Kawah Ijen and I had woken up at 1am in order to see the stars and blue flames. My high from the natural beauty plummeted upon making my way down.
Something all-too-typical happened. A miner asked the fellow hiker I was walking with (we had met at the blue flames and bonded over our mutual near-asphyxiation from the sulfuric fumes) for a cigarette. He offered him a Marlboro and the man turned it down instead asking for money to buy the cigarettes he actually wanted.
Really? The audacity!
Rewind to my first day in Sumatra. I was in Medan and covered myself from head to toe, thinking I would be alright. I walked outside and immediately was bombarded with catcalls and rude gestures. I was so intimidated that I retreated to my hotel and didn’t leave again for three days.
Then there was the bus trip between Flores and Lombok. It mostly went well, but somewhere between Labuan Bajo and Bima a boy seated next to the old lady who I had bonded with on the boat whispered something to her, the two traded seats, and before I knew it his hand was on my thigh.
Uh, What? Unhand me you man-child!
Then I had the worst day of my travels so far, getting scammed and cheated seemed to be the name of the game in Indonesia, and I was getting really sick of it.
It probably didn’t help that I had just had an easy six weeks in Malaysia, where most people spoke English and were genuinely pleased to have me there visiting. I was viewed as a guest and was generally treated as such.
When I finally did make my way to Sempol, the jumping off point for Kawah Ijen, I walked to a warung (small eatery) about 1km away from my guesthouse to save some money on dinner. Several times young men would stop near me on their motorbikes for the sole purpose of taunting me and making rude gestures with their fingers. What could I do? I just ignored it and kept walking, a little more dejected each time.
Why? Why is it ok to make rude gestures at me just because I’m a foreigner?
I braced myself for another battle when I made my way to the bus stop after climbing Kawah Ijen. Sure enough, several young men rode by taunting me, but I just ignored them and kept my nose in my book.
Then, something odd happened. A truck carrying a brand new motorbike pulled over and a uniformed young man stepped out.
“Bondowoso?” he asked.
Yes, that was where I was going. He offered me a ride. Skeptical and jaded, I asked how much money he was looking for. He looked surprised and said he wanted nothing. Something about his demeanor made me trust him, and I climbed inside with him and his two coworkers.
Before long, we were joking around and I was speaking with them in my very limited Indonesian, while they did the same in their very limited English. We even stopped by a grocery store and they told me I could wait in the car. They emerged with a cold drink for me and the driver even though they, given it was Ramadan, had to abstain.
How sweet is that?
We dropped off the motorbike and I was invited into the buyer’s lovely home. Everyone was incredibly kind and I eventually made it to the bus station safe and sound. Just as promised, they wanted nothing from me.
I wish I could tell them now how much that really meant to me. It was one simple act of kindness but it set the tone for the rest of the trip, which ended up being a little easier, maybe simply due to my more positive outlook.
They say all it takes to ruin a place is one bad egg, but I think the opposite. All it took to restore my faith in Indonesia was one random act of kindness.
Have you had a similar experience while traveling?
Kilee says
Aww what a nice story! I know what you mean about Indonesia getting frustrating at times, we just finished a two month stint over there and while there were so many good times, there were more than a handful of times when you just wanted to lock yourself away from the “hello misterrrrr”s and constant staring (which we actually did in Medan as well haha! Locked ourselves in our hotel room for two days, watched TV, ordered take-out and sat on wifi). We’ve just been in Malaysia for two days and can’t believe how insanely different it is over here, but Indonesia really was something special 🙂
Kristin says
I finally started saying “miss” when someone would call me mister. Sounds like we did the same thing in Medan!
Thomas | Jus Getaway says
What a great story. Not sure I would have gotten in the truck thought it seemed to work out for you. Heard too many horror stories. What kind of jerk would turn down someone giving them cig’s and ask for money to get their own??!!!
Kristin says
Hitching is definitely always a risk, but it has always gone really well for me.
Amanda @ Adventure Year says
That situation you were in sounds really, really tough mentally. I’m so glad these guys were around to help you out! I think your way of looking at the “eggs” is pretty accurate. I suppose it just depends to me how bad the “bad egg” is.
Kristin says
True but I really do try not to let one bad egg ruin a place for me. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, though.
Emma @ GottaKeepMovin says
I love these little moments when your faith in humanity is restored! I definitely would say to anyone think twice about getting into a van with some strangers in a place like this, but I know what you mean when you said something about his demeanor made you trust him.
I’ve had a few similar situations where I think ‘To anyone else, it would this was a ridiculous idea that could get me into trouble, but I just have a good feeling about these guys’, and I end up having an experience like yours. Definitely something to say about trusting your gut.
Thanks for sharing!
Kristin says
You said it perfectly, it seems like a ridiculous idea but at the time, it just felt right.
Lilian says
Aw those guys seem so sweet. I love random acts of kindness; they remind you that the world isn’t such a scary place as we’re sometimes led to believe.
Kristin says
Absolutely
Jo (The Blond) says
It’s true what Morgan Freeman said that one random act of kindness at a time can change someone’s world.
It wasn’t much – a drink, a life, a cheerful ride with cheerful company – but it made the whole Indonesia look better in your eyes. These memories will stay with you for a very, very long time 🙂
Kristin says
I try to remind myself of that when interacting with complete strangers. Sometimes just complimenting someone’s hair can make them feel better or letting them go first in line can brighten their day, even just a little bit.
Steph (@ 20 Years Hence) says
For me, travel has really been all about these little moments. Some countries have had them in spades (e.g., Philippines, Taiwan), and other places we’ve had to work a bit harder for them, but they are always worthwhile.
Probably the country where we felt the most similar to you was China. We just felt that by & large the people weren’t very friendly and we found everything so frustrating and were constantly worried about being scammed that we were really starting to feel like everyone there was out to get us. And then we spent a day exploring the city of Guilin (which everyone told us to skip because it was boring) and in the same day met 2 people who went out of their way to help us out of nothing more than the goodness of their hearts. It was a real eye-opener, and while I can’t say it salvaged China for us, it did help us realize that our own attitude certainly wasn’t helping matters. You can find good people everywhere in the world, you just have to be open to it!
Kristin says
Sorry to hear that about China. Taiwan is pretty special with how nice people are.
Angela says
Things like this always seem to happen when you need them most. And thank God for moments like this! Without them, travel would suck sometimes!
We had several random acts of kindness that made me change the way I look at people for ever.
Kristin says
Yes, without the random acts of kindness I’d be a bitter, bitter person!
Gerald Englebretsen says
Can recognise what you are relating and also pleased, so pleased to hear that you had that moment that allowed you to charge on through. Been to Indonesia many times including all of the places you have mentioned. Luckily I have developed firm friendships which have allowed me to get very much down and local. It does change your outlook.
Agree with the comparison between Indo and Malaysia tho – it just takes some getting used to when you come from one to the other.
Great travel writing however. You have painted some great word pictures of the experience.
Kristin says
Thanks and I definitely appreciate the Indonesian people I’ve come to know well. They are very kind and generous.
apol says
sounds very infuriating… those rude gestures, they do those to foreigners only? Is that a cultural thing there?
glad you were fine…those guys were heaven sent!
Kristin says
I mean young guys cat-call here (in the USA) as well, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a cultural thing. I do think it is more directed at foreigners than local women, though.
Vira says
As an Indonesian, I can’t not feel embarrassed knowing that foreigners are sometimes treated badly by our people. I’m sorry you had to experience such troubles. And I’m thankful for the kind guys that made your trip much more pleasant.. 🙂
Kristin says
It could happen anywhere, though. Just the other day in Las Vegas a taxi driver tried to cheat me by not running the meter properly. Proof that it happens back home too!
Liz says
I had a similar great experience in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. I was even teary-eyed when I boarded my plane to Bali because the kindness shown to me meant so much that I no longer want to leave! 🙂
Kristin says
It’s so nice!
ika says
i am indonesian. Actually what was happened to you can also happens to local women. that’s why many parents don’t allow their daughter to travel alone.
Great respect to you for your courage to do a solo traveling. it’s very nice experience.
Kristin says
I’m humbled by your comment. I didn’t realize it also happens to local women.
ika says
yup, but please don’t think that all of Indonesian always act that way. The are many Indonesian that will welcome foreigners kindly. So, don’t worry to travel around my country. Happy traveling!
christine says
Dear Kristin,
I can totally understand what you’ve been through while traveling in indonesia. traveling in here definitely is not an easy one. I have the same unease experience, while cycling solo around Maninjau Lake, west sumatera. People stared me all the time, children shouted “hello..hello” making me uncomfortable and when I replied in bahasa, they shouted again “oh cina..cina”. Yes, I’m indonesian chinese, a sensitive subject in this so called multicultural country, something that the low class of education never understand and need to change asap.
I get scam too, so it is not for foreigner only, so please do your research ahead. I also noticed that foreign traveler in indonesia become easily suspicious with the local people. I understand that maybe they are nice people who just have bad experiences like touts, scams etc, they become guarded and make interaction with the locals as minimal as it can. For me as a solo traveler in my own country, it’s hard to mingle with you guys.
My father always said, “The world have more Good People than bad ones”, I still travel solo, I have lots of good memories and make friends with the local. I do hope this random acts of kindness help restoring the goodness of our people in your eyes. try to explore the east of indonesia, it is more remote there and the people also more nice in my opinion.
Sascha says
I don’t get obscene or rude gestures, I guess because I’m male. But I sometimes do get a bit harassed, women holding my hand while taking a photo etc. I probably don’t get all the culture knacks, but yes, as a foreign traveller you are eyed in Indonesia pretty much all the time.
Kristin says
There should be a tumblr for how many Indonesian boys’ photos I’m in as well.
Sri says
Yes. That’s Indonesia. So friendly
Klim says
I found this interesting considering the comparison you made with Malaysia. While as a male I’m not subjected to the harassment (sad to hear it), I also found Malaysia to be my favorite Asian country and Indonesia focused on largely getting your money. Which isn’t to say I haven’t had great times and met great people but as a whole right from stepping from the airport I knew I was in a different place from Malaysia (akin to a mix of Thailand and Laos). And Medan is a special sort of awful, and I only experienced it in passing but knew right away I wanted nothing to do with it- nowhere like it.
Enjoy your posts. Hoping to follow your guidance from your other post when I go to Ijen after tomorrow.
Kristin says
Ugh Medan is definitely a special kind of awful!